One would think after receiving the title “Worst game ever” that would be the end, but not for Postal 4: No Regrets.
Developer and publisher Running with Scissors have created Postal 4: No Regrets. Marketed as “the long-awaited true sequel to what’s been fondly dubbed as ‘The Worst Game ever,’ Postal 2”, this new installment sets the bar even lower. Players will be faced with a variety of technical issues, system crashing, elementary humor that should have been left in the 90s, boring combat, and lackluster quests and writing. And all of that can be yours for just $39.99!
Now to be fair, I love a good stupid game. For example, the Leisure Suit Larry games is a proud addiction. House Party is a game I’ve donated countless hours to. But in regards to games like this, the most important thing that is needed is a balance of the shock value with enjoyable gameplay. Something that Postal 4: No Regrets is seriously lacking.
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As well as the fact that today’s gamer crowd is vastly different than those of 2003 when Postal 2 debuted. This isn’t to say that the tongue-in-cheek humor that leaves people clutching their pearls is dead, but it does mean this type of humor needs a slight air of sophistication for it to hit.
The Quests in Postal 4
Postal 4: No Regrets is an open-world first-person shooter game that follows the main character, Postal Dude, and his dog Champ. After taking a quick bathroom break, his trailer home was stolen, leaving them stranded. Now it’s the player’s job to help Postal Dude with odd jobs around town for some cash, while also hoping they can find the stolen possessions. Progression of the game takes place on a daily scale, providing a list of errands to complete before the next day begins.
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As players explore the town they must meet the variety of unhinged characters that will provide them with these quests. These quests mostly range from mundane tasks like changing light bulbs, unclogging shit from a drain, getting signatures on a petition, and even filling in as a security guard. But then out of nowhere, you come across a quest that is rooted in a political topic. The only issue is most of these fell flat due to the extreme stereotyping humor.
South Park, Family Guy, and even games like Grand Theft Auto all have ways of approaching political humor and making interesting points that might stay with the audience. But that is usually because political comedy is mostly rooted in forms of reality.
Take for example one of the rare moments that Postal 4: No Regrets actually landed a joke. At one point you need to vote for the Sheriff of Edensin County, the only problem is that there is only one choice. Johnny Joe Billy Jimbo Bob is the candidate for both the Republican and Democrat parties. This is funny because first it points to the big discussion regarding rigged elections, but also could be said to point at the fact that both parties are not that different from each other.
Now comparing that to quests where you have to slingshot Mexicans over the border or help prison reform through abuse. These quests completely miss the mark to where it leaves the player uncomfortable. And these are great examples of the majority of the humor players will find. Including a wide selection of sexual jokes that made me feel like I was 8 years old and the idea of “boobies” on a calculator was the best thing I had ever heard. Like why in the world is there an amusement park themed after a vagina?
Like Shooting AI in a Barrel
But putting the very poor humor aside and the lackluster quests that led to no challenge or enjoyment, Postal 4 is a game that centers around being a first-person shooter. This was probably the biggest issue I had with the game. Especially with the AI and their strange ability to just run a b-line straight at you. But not only that, they tend to group up, get stuck in the environment around them, and overall act like the slowest zombies imaginable.
Even the slightest bit of skill needed to kill these enemies could have been enough to overlook the other issues. But when you are plagued with everything else, on top of just mindless AI, you really start to question life choices.
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Another issue with the AI is the fact they just seem to eat up all the bullets. This makes it feel like the weapons are just weak and lead the player to waste massive amounts of ammo that can already be difficult to find. Players can choose between pistols, shotguns, and rifles, with the best being the revolver. But in all honesty, if the choice was left up to me I would have forsaken any of the weapons and just focused on pissing on people. The overall selection of weapons just didn’t do it for me.
Postal 4 Comes Crashing to an End
As stated before, Postal 4 isn’t all bad. It has its moments to shine and small bits that might lead you to smile. But as soon as you find that green grass of happiness, the game will crash or freeze.
I probably ended up spending more time frozen than I did actually playing the game. One of the biggest issues I faced was when entering new areas of the open world. Doing so triggers a loading scene, which then sends you to a broken part of the map. The only way to fix this is by reloading until by the luck of the gaming gods it works. Between this and the inability to pick up critical items, the feeling to rage quit was real.
So real, that this is the first review I think I have done with no procrastination in hopes to rid this experience from my mind as fast as possible. There is usually something fun and entertaining about playing bad games, or even games rooted in stupid twisted humor. But magically the best thing Postal 4: No Regrets accomplished is being a game that is hard for gamers to even hate play.
Overall, it feels dirty to give this game a rating of 0 because one has to wonder if that is what the creators wanted all along. Is this game created purely to keep the title they cherish? Or maybe it’s just 15 hours of trolling by Running with Scissors. But due to the fact that I really enjoyed the voting bit, pissing over shooting, and the cat being used as a silencer for your gun Postal 4: No Regrets gets a whopping 1/10.
Postal 4: No Regrets is available now on PC.
Let us know in the comments if you are someone that enjoyed Postal 4: No Regrets. Is there something I missed? What were your favorite bits? And most importantly, how many times did your game crash while playing? Tweet us the parts of the game that make it worthwhile.
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